Today was one of the hardest days for me so far here in Uganda. The four of us, as mentioned before are in Kampala; we have been spending our time in 'lower Mulago' the high-risk ward. Basically what this seems to mean is that approximately half of the women are waiting for c-section. Put another way, what this means is a large group of women are out of their minds in pain, moaning and screaming, terrified that they are going to die or that there baby will die. It is a cacaphony of suffering, and suffering with no end in sight. This is not like in Canada or like any other developed country where waiting for a c-section means maybe an hour. If you are lucky, it will maybe take you 4 hours but realistically, you might be waiting for day or longer. There is also no such thing as an epidural for a long obtructed labor. Imagine being at the very limits of what you think you can handle, and yet you have to go on, and you have no idea, none, of how much longer you will have to continue experiencing the worst pain that you have had in your life.
As a careprovider it is a helplessness that is so profound. You get so drawn in to the suffering around you. It is so draining. Today, there are no inspiring moments, just anger and sadness that this ward is only a sliver of what most women in the world experience. Actually I take that back, the strength of these women is even beyond compression. It is amazing what one can survive when you have to.
Carolyn
love you
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