Questionning

We left work feeling so drained today. Every woman on the ward today was birthing for the first time, and aside from one of them, they all had difficulties: 3 babies needed resuscitations, one woman needed a vacuum, another needed an episiotomy (that baby is in the nursery) and unfortunately, there was another stillbirth that had died in utero days before. This baby delivered breech, feet first, and Alix had to be very careful when catching this baby as stillbirths are very fragile. The mom didn't know that the baby had died and Cathy had to tell her. Her grief was hard to watch.

Yet, other days have been equally challenging and so we wondered, why was today so difficult. After some reflection, we think that it is a growing awareness of what are roles are here, and how we impact and don't impact others. Yes, our presence here is making a difference, but only while we are here. We most certainly get more out of being here than they get out of us being here. As students, this is just the reality, we're not putting ourselves down. And we think that even as practicing midwives, this wouldn't be any different unless we did what Cathy and Micky do: educate and provide training to local midwives so that these midwives can teach others in their community. That is what creates long-lasting change.

And then there is the lack of resources. This was never so obvious than today.  We worked all day with no sterile instruments. We had to use razor blades to cut the cord, and no clamps before tying off the cord. A woman had to wait for hours to get sutured because there were no sterilized instruments.

The charming owner of the Zebra jokes with us that we should marry his brother- he says that engagements can be broken and marriages don't count until a heir is produced. And apparently we appear to be between the ages of 17-22. His humour is welcome at the end of the day.